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6 Steps to Building Self-Esteem in Children

by: AbelCheng
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Word Count: 455

What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves, or our 'self perceptions.' How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors, and affects our emotional judgment.

Self-esteem includes other qualities, such as self-confidence, pride, independence, self-reliance, and self-respect. Experts say we develop our self-esteem during childhood, and it constantly evolves as we are shaped by the different social interactions and experiences we go through.

A child with high self-esteem is the most important way to ensure his or her own personal safety. Keeping them away from physical harm comes afterward.

Keeping your outlook positive will help your child maintain a positive self-esteem. Praising them when they learn, try or accomplish things will help your child feel confident that they are good at those things, and foster their growing sense of positive self-esteem.

But praise and positive reinforcement alone will not make children feel better automatically. Providing them with lots of love, care, and understanding is equally significant. Children who are happy and confident may still experience low self-esteem because they do not feel loved. Likewise, children who are loved and pampered at home may still feel inadequate and incompetent, thus ending up with low self-esteem. Hence, a balance of both should be present.

Even though your child may misbehave, you can still bolster their self confidence and self-esteem by explaining to them that their behavior was unacceptable, but they are still loved and accepted. When you talk to your child, there are several things you can do to effectively communicate and boost positive self-esteem.

1. Give "Don'ts" as little as necessary Handing out too many negative remarks will leave a child feeling inadequate. Keep your responses as positive as possible.

2. Listen to your child. Parents often make the mistake of thinking their words are more important than their child, which makes child has lower self-esteem.

3. Get on their level. If you are talking to a toddler, you should kneel down to speak to them. The child should be able to see your face without straining to look up.

4. Use a timer, or flip a coin. Taking turns speaking will ensure that your child knows his feeling and ideas are worthwhile, and also gives them a good way to learn to speak to other.

5. Keep your cool. Make sure you wait to talk to your child when you are calm and relaxed. Speaking to a child when you are angry will only feed the flames of conflict.

6. Don't be afraid to discipline. If you child misbehaves, tell them in a simple way they understand that the behavior is unacceptable, and explain what behavior you expect.